


They're Broken

by buffymysavior



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Riley, Love Triangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 22:06:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14066592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffymysavior/pseuds/buffymysavior
Summary: Riley finally broke. Lucas isn't okay. Maybe they can help each other. Or maybe not.





	1. She Finally Broke

Riley Matthews was sick and tired, to say the least.

She was tired of being happy for others when she couldn’t be happy for herself.

She was sick of repairing others lives when she couldn’t repair her own.

She didn’t want to fake smiles and laughs when she was holding herself together with tape and glue.

She couldn’t keep going on and lying to herself. 

Riley Matthews was anything but fine.

She had never wanted to admit it to herself. She fixed people’s lives, it was what she always did. She had enjoyed it once. But that was before her mother prioritized her best friend over her own daughter, before the boy she loved had assumed they were going to the dance without asking her, before she had to witness her best friend flirt with the guy she liked in front of her face, before that same friend had kept secrets from her, before that same guy fell for that same friend, then she tried to step back from them and let them be happy only to have her feelings outed by the only person she could trust. 

Riley couldn’t remember the last time someone had asked her if she was okay.

_ “I don’t think it’s right that Riley is always the first one to come help us but doesn’t come to us when she needs help.” _

The words repeatedly ran through her mind. Lucas had once spoke those words. He had been right, he was still right. She didn’t come to others when she needed help. But shouldn’t someone have noticed by now that she wasn’t okay? Besides, everyone she wanted to talk about it to was part of the problem. Her mother, Lucas, Maya. She couldn’t even tell her father since he would tell his wife. She could always tell Farkle but she knew he was probably fed up with the mess they were all in. She couldn’t even go to Zay, who couldn’t keep his mouth shut. So Riley was stuck, stuck with her thoughts and her problems, drowning in her own ocean of issues.

Riley tried to keep hope. Maybe someone would notice she needed some comfort and support. Maybe they would notice that she wasn’t fine, no matter what she really said. 

Then she remembered that no one had noticed that she hadn’t been okay for months now. No one had given her fake smiles a second glance. No one had said that she wasn’t okay, despite what she really said.

Riley was afraid to cry about everything. She was afraid to bring down the walls made of tape and glue and paper that she had constructed around herself. She knew that once she started to cry, she wasn’t going to stop, and she needed someone there to piece her back together when she finally breaks.

At the moment, she had no one.

She hoped for someone. She hoped real hard for someone to help her.

No one came.

She wasn’t surprised. Riley stopped being surprised a long time ago. 

Riley waited. She waited for a long time.

No one noticed.

Riley was tired of not being noticed. Often times her insecurities got the best of her. She felt like she didn’t matter. She thought that maybe her friends didn’t need her. Maybe they were better off without her. 

And maybe she was right.

Riley, after thinking all of these things, sniffled a little bit, and tried to tell herself she was fine, but she knew it was all a lie. She tried to tell herself she didn’t deserve this and that things would look up.

_ “You exist. You exist, and you're weird, and you get in the way of where I'm looking, so stop being weird and stop being happy. Nobody should be as happy as you. Stop being who you are...or I'm gonna put my foot in your weird, stupid face.” _

_ “Sometimes...you are just, too much for me, Riley.” _

_ “I think this time, you just led us down a hole.” _

_ “How am I in a triangle with that?” _

_ “Maybe you put too much faith in people.” _

_ “Maya, have I told you lately that I think you’re pretty fierce.” _

_ “Every year I have to tell you that you're good. You know what? You're not good. You're not as good as Samantha. You're not as good as Heather. You're not as good as any girl with any name, or doesn't have a name, or doesn't exist, or is a rock.” _

She didn’t believe herself.

She finally broke.

Riley Matthews was the girl that fixes others but couldn’t even fix herself.


	2. He's Not Okay

Lucas Friar was the boy voted to be most okay with anything.

He wasn’t okay with this.

Lucas wasn’t okay with this stupid triangle he had been dragged into by two of his closest friends.

He wasn’t okay with Riley disregarding his feelings and lying about her own.

He wasn’t okay with having to even up special moments he shared with each girl.

Most of all, Lucas Friar wasn’t okay.

He had a decision to make. When he had told Zay it was an impossible choice, he didn’t mean Riley or Maya. To him, it had always been Riley. It was just telling them who he liked that he was struggling with. To tell the truth would crush Maya, which would crush Riley, which would ultimately hurt Lucas. He didn’t want to see either girl in pain. But he also didn’t want to keep the secret to himself and let their friendships be torn apart. 

The truth was always the best thing.

Farkle kept telling him that. Farkle kept telling him lots of things. But truth being the best thing was something he always brought up.

What was the truth anymore?

Was the truth worth hurting someone he cared about?

Was anything worth hurting someone he cared about?

He didn’t know anymore.

Lucas didn’t know a lot of things. He didn’t know why Riley had completely disregarded his feelings for Maya, when his feelings were important too. He didn’t know why Maya had acted like Riley and him were brother and sister when they were clearly not and why she let Riley stand back. He didn’t know why Maya acted like she didn’t care about Riley’s feelings, or why Riley had basically kept telling Lucas that his feelings were irrelevant. 

Even though Lucas didn’t understand a lot of this situation he had gotten in, he knew one thing.

He’s not okay.


	3. They're Broken

Lucas crawled through the bay window. He had come to talk to Riley. Talking to each other had always been their strong suit, and Lucas was pretty much over this triangle. He didn’t want-no, he wasn’t going to even things up with Maya this time. This was between him and Riley only, no Maya, no triangle. Only them.

He glanced over at Riley. She was by herself, crying. She didn’t seem to notice him. Lucas’s heart broke at the sight. “Riley?” 

She swerved her head to meet his heartbroken green eyes. “Lucas! How long have you been standing there?”

He took a deep breath and sat next to her own her bed. “Long enough.” As soon as those words came out of his mouth, Riley started rambling explanations and apologies, how school had stressed her out, how she was fine, how she was okay. Every single word was a lie.

“Riley, the truth is always the best thing,” Lucas told her.

She bit her lip in response. “So I see you’ve been speaking to Farkle.” Lucas nodded.

“Yes, I have, and I think he’s right. Riley. I can tell you're not fine! You're not okay! Talk to me. It's what we do best, right?"

Riley shook her head. "I can't tell you."

Lucas stared at her in disbelief. "Why?" She sat there and didn't say anything. Lucas thought about it for a moment.

"Because I'm part of the problem, right?" Lucas finally asked. She didn't respond. "Please tell me, Riley. I want to be there for you and I want to fix this."

She took a deep breath. "You have to even it up with Maya, you know that right?"

Lucas was not going to do that this time. "No. This is between you and me."

"But that's not fair to her! You have to."

"No, I don't because I've already made my decision," Lucas told her.

Riley put her head down. "Oh. So that's why you came."

Lucas shook his head. "No. I came to talk. I miss talking to you. It's my favorite thing in the world. We used to be able to, but now we don't. Why is that?"

"Do I really have to tell you? If you want to talk to me, you have to talk to Maya. You had to keep it even," Riley replied. Lucas hung his head.

"I hate this. I hate not being able to talk to you."

"Me too," she breathed.

Lucas saw his open window of opportunity. "So talk to me. What's wrong?"

At one moment, all that filled the room was silence and the next she had collapsed in his arms, sobbing about the horrible things that she had been keeping to herself. How her parents seemed to care about Maya more, how much this triangle had diminished the light in her, how Maya didn't seem to care, how no one seemed to care, how no one saw that she wasn't all right. The girl with all the sunshine in the world was drowning in the shadows, and Lucas felt helpless.

Riley continued to ramble about how much she had been hurting lately. Lucas held her tighter with every gasp and sob. He put his face into her hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying about my feelings. I'm sorry for disregarding yours. I'm sorry for getting us into this mess. I'm sorry for outing Maya's feelings in front of everyone. I'm sorry for being a nothing. I'm sorry for being insecure. I'm sorry that I expected you to ask me to the dance and made a big deal about it. I'm sorry that I tried to fix everyone's lives when I can't fix my own. I'm sorry for being here now, with you, when my best friend would be crushed if she knew. I'm sorry for telling you about my problems. I'm sorry for being myself. I'm so sorry, Lucas. I'm so sorry."

Lucas was mad. Mad at himself, at Maya, at Riley's parents. "You should never be sorry for anything. I love everything about you. I love who you are. I love all of your insecurities. I love everything that makes you you. You have never been a nothing, not to me. I love that you try to fix everything. I love that you're here now with me. I love that you're talking to me. I love that you’re being yourself. Never apologize for being yourself when you are the reason I want to be a better person. You are the reason I survived in New York, the reason I got on that bull. You keep me from going to the part of me that I hate, Texas Lucas. I would never want you to be anything but yourself."

With every word, the light in her eyes grew. Lucas smiled the widest smile his lips had formed in a long time. “Did you really mean that?” Her voice was delicate, sadness and surprise lingering in her words.

Lucas nodded his head, grinning to reassure her. “Yeah, Riley. There’s nothing I’ve ever said to you that I didn’t mean. Well...except when I said you were too much for me in the hole. Or when I called you a loser when you got a D on your Spanish test.” He pursed his lips, still hating himself for saying something so stupid, so untrue.

She sniffled, and she tried to hide her laugh. The first day of high school felt like forever ago, and it seemed like a distant memory.

All of a sudden, her smile dissipated. “Did you say all that so it’d be an easier blow when you tell me you choose Maya?”

The sheer happiness in Lucas’s eyes crumbled like broken glass. “No, Riley. Of course not.” He stood up off Riley’s bed and slammed his fist on her dresser. “I am such an idiot.  _ Riley _ ,” he said desperately, practically pleading with her, “what I’m trying to say is that I choose you. It’s always been you, and it’s always going to be you.” He knelt by her on the side of her bed now, reaching out and taking a hold of her hand. 

She gaped at him in disbelief, dried tears on her face. “What? But Maya-”

“Maya already knows,” he said quickly. “In fact, she sent me here to you.”

“Did she step back again and I’m your second choice?” Riley quivered.

Her disbelief that he chose her felt like a stab in the chest. “You have always been my first choice. I just didn’t want to hurt Maya.”

Riley’s mouth quirked up into her old smile, the one that was practically blinding. “So you really choose me?”

“Yes,” Lucas smiled, glad that she understood. “And I will never stop choosing you. So, will you choose me, too?”

She placed her hand gently on his cheek. “I do.”

Lucas felt a flood of fireworks explode in his chest. “I’m so happy, I could just kiss you,” he grinned, his voice cracking with emotion.

A blush spread over her face. “Then why don’t you?” He was surprised at her flirty suggestion, but didn’t hesitate to pull her into his arms and connect his lips to hers. Riley smiled into the kiss, glad that she was the only girl he wanted to be with.


End file.
